The leaves had long fallen from their twigs, the winter morning was
cold. A gentle breeze would, once in a while, force a familiar looking
stranger squeeze their coats a little tighter. At home, grandma would
curse the weather, But then, she always cursed the weather – be it
rain or shine. Little children dressed in colorful sweaters thronged
the streets; the lights in the shops were on in spite of it being day.
A gentle excitement was in the air, breathing life in the usually dull
life of a wintery evening in Guwahati.
In the concrete road leading to Fancy Bazar, I walked, there was a
wallop in my stride. The icy weather could hardly contain me – in me,
was a warmth unknown – I was in a half sleeved tee and the smile in my
lips spelt it all.
It was Christmas Eve and I was out shopping for her.
It is very difficult to shop for ladies. The preferences of clothes
varied with her moods and so did the color of her shoes. After a lot
of confusion on what to buy for her, I settled on a nice music player.
It wasn’t difficult to choose a music player – and she loved music, my
girl. She wouldn’t understand the specs of the player but she knew
more music than many.
******
The Stars in the verandahs of the houses still gleamed, spreading
rainbow rays everywhere. In the lane that led to her house, I waited
for her. I felt stupid wearing a Santa Claus dress complete with a
mask. I missed a pot belly. Little children looked on with hope – I
had nothing for them. I cursed myself – I had not expected this – A
Santa without chocolates for the kids is just so boring.
As usual, she was late.
“Merry Christmas!” her voice startled me. I almost jumped for joy!
She had seen through the disguise. She wrapped her arm around mine as
I kissed her forehead as I handed over the gift.
“What’s in there?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with happiness. I felt
so wonderful – there is nothing better than bringing a smile.
“Check in the restaurant, shall we?” I said, the Santa Claus dress
felt stupid no more. After all, I felt loved too. To hold a loving
girl in your arms and walking proudly – a dream had come true when I
wasn’t asleep.
I thanked the cold weather, as she snuggled closer to me. We were in
an autorickshaw and the driver had a smile in his lips giving a ride
in a beautiful girl and Santa. He would have a story to tell his kids
someday, I thought.
“I love you” she whispered.
“I love you more” I whispered back.
*********
These moments of happiness…
will they remain what I thought them to be?
Or will they be, just a bitter scar,
reminding me of a wound so deep,
so fatal, so painful, everytime I am alone?
Tiny little raindrops,
Beautiful, engaging, alive…
Why are they silently weeping
On this cold Christmas evening today?
You wore a mask,
I could see not beyond your guise,
But to fool someone who loves you,
Is it wise?
Who would answer the why’s now?
Now that u got lost in the shadows..
Forever I shall remain searching..
Searching answers in places,
Where I know not what to ask anymore.
*********
How wrong I was…
When I thought love would win her over..
In the end, she chose the guy..
With the guitar and the Bajaj Avenger.
