The Powerless Man of India who got elevated to be the HOUSEWIFE of India- also sometimes called ‘Home Minister’- will be visiting Baba Ramdev soon. Inside and outside sources told The Delusional Reporter that, Sushil Kumar Shinde will anytime visit BRD tomorrow. The reason for this visit is said to be based on purely health grounds.
As we all know our HouseWife minister is facing so much of agony, pain and humiliation in both houses of Parliament: reading difficult speeches in English, replacing the word ‘territory’ with ‘terrorist’, upsetting poor Jayaji and then again calling her sister on the eve of Rakshabandhan, finding out where Assam is, who are Bodos because he only knew Muslims, and what happened there and so on.
After having set an ‘Adarsh’ example in Maharastra as CM and done nothing useful or useless work being Powerless minister, the hectic work given to him by his Italian Idle is hampering his health.
The Delusional Reporter got Sushilji for quick interview. He presumed that I was Karan Thapar and said, “Kya hai !! Baar baar chale ate ho tumlog… Are pata nai kya ki kya jawab likhna hai. Pati-thik” .he meant to say ‘pathetic’. Realizing that it was me, he quickly responded, in very fragile English language written on piece of paper he was holding, “I am meeting Baba Ramdev for personal reasons. I am having health problems. He teaches Yoga na.. He’s a yoga guru. He will teach me at least some aasan, though I lack lot of anushasan by myself.”
He further went on to say,” I am not concerned with what Baba Ramdev is doing. I am only concerned to what my Italian Idle says. If she asks me to slap myself in front of the whole crowd, I will. After all, I am an Italian loyalist!!! If she asks me to clean utensils, prepare lunch, dinner, change RAHUL BABA’s DIAPERS, I will do it!! You see in India Housewife ka job milna aasan nahi hai. I have done so many household works for my IDLE, and so only I got elevated as HouseWife.”
When asked on black money issue which is raised by Baba Ramdev in the massive agitation, he said, “ I don’t know about Black Money. All I know is Baba Ramdev is doing some sort of huge shibeer- yoga shibeer I guess, so I am going to attend it. Madamji only asked me to go to him. She told something that if Black money comes to India, she will be sent back to Italy. I want to protect Madamji not from getting kicked out of India but from getting kicked out of Italy too.”
When asked if there were any political motives behind the meet with Baba Ramdev, he said “No!! What political motives. I don’t know politics!! I only follow my Italian Idle. I am more loyal than DiggyDog Singh. I don’t bark like him but sincerely wave my tail and stuck my tongue out to everything she says. “
The interview was interrupted by a call on his cell, and his ring tone was “ Ban Gaya Kutta ye to, Bandh do Patta” . Our HouseWife minister started gasping and sweating heavily. He ran away murmuring “mar gaya abhi, cooker ko seeti lagana he bhul gaya!! Ab madam peetegi mujhe”. No rewards for guessing who’s the caller !!!!