1) Be yourself: I know this is clichéd on so many levels but it’s also one of those rare clichés that are actually true. You want to chap to like you, then he better like you for who YOU are, and not what you pretend to be to get him to like you. So. Be yourself, because authentic is in.
2) Stay casual: My feminist ideologies would be damned dare I say that men are ‘born’ hunters, or ‘natural’ huntsmen. But I do believe that generations and generations of taking that spear in one’s hand and running off to hound a deer (more likely a rabbit) must have made its mark somewhere in the male subconscious mind, or perhaps being so conditioned by video games that mostly involve carrying a gun and finding thieves/terrorists/evil kings/you-name-it has led to most men loving the idea of a ‘target’ or a ‘catch’, especially if it is a challenging one. Hence, my advice to anyone with an eye on a guy would be, put a little distance, stay a little icy, and DO NOT in any circumstance let it be known that you’re the one pursuing him. After all, which self-respecting ‘hunter’ would want to be chased by his own game?
3) Make yourself heard: Don’t be fooled by the silly amount of movies and soaps (not to mention advertisements) that exhibit pretty young things that hardly utter a syllable but snag the man. Real life, thankfully, is NOT like this. Most men, again I’m sticking to the safety of using ‘most’ here since I don’t want to be attacked by the aggression of select Y-chromosomes who think otherwise, like someone who’s got basic articulation skills and opinions she’s got the guts to stand by. So don’t think wearing mascara and batting those heavily-lidded lashes and inclining your neck to about 30 degrees is going to help your chances of romance in this era. But engaging n healthy conversations, sharing your views about something, genuinely listening to the chap, and showcasing occasional glimpses of your witty self certainly will.
4) Look look-able: You can have ANY goddamn style statement you want, from goody-two-shoes to rocker chick to bohemian to sluts-r-us to I-don’t-want-fashion-to-dictate-my-fashion. But for goodness’s sake don’t be 1. unhygienic and 2. delirious. I love people who make their own fashion statements – not only with clothes and accessories but also the way they carry themselves. So, wear whatever you want, do your hair the way you like it, but walk as if you own this world. (This does not mean being snooty and looking down on everyone, since we aspire for a world where each of us can own the world and still stay happy.) I guarantee you’ll get noticed.
5) Love yourself, enjoy life, stay happy: It’s the best way to attract romance. So now you have the guy’s eyes on you, let it be known to him that you are like the sunshine that lights everything around her. Put a smile on your face, laugh out loud, (you have a good reason to!), enjoy the good things in life, and make merry. Nobody loves a whiny, wimpy person anyway. But then again, if you feel wimpy, etc – don’t force yourself to be happy. Celebrate even drowning in the depths of depression with full gusto! Basically, stay happy. As one of my very-wise friends (and he’s a guy!) told me, happiness engenders good relationships, not the other way round.
6) Now in the off chance that this guy still doesn’t like you, there could be a couple of reasons I’m enlisting here:
(a) He likes someone else: In which case, my dears, live and let live. He probably needs you more in a friend’s capacity right now, to help him decode his feelings for this other girl. No matter how pathetically in love with him you may be, my stand is that he’ll respect you more for being his friend than for being a competitor for space in his heart.
(b) Something doesn’t click: You think this one guy is perfect for you but sadly he doesn’t think the same of you. Well. This is a tough nut. You can choose either to have patience and wait for the day he finally realises his love for you (but DO NOT tell him this) or be open to finding someone else. After all, life goes on, and it sure will give you a thousand more opportunities (read: potholes) to fall in love. But yes, for today, you have every right to feel sorry for yourself.
(c) You were too desperate: Yes, I don’t blame you, happens to the best of us. Woman of experience talking. The moment your guy realises, even slightly, that you feel deeper sentiments for him than a casual, “Hey, what’s up?” he’s sure to slither away like a snake that caught a whiff of the mongoose’s juice. EVEN if he likes you back. In all probability, he’ll be ‘confused’, ‘unsure’, etc. as he tries to grapple with these new-found feelings of care and attachment and that clash with his apparently male ‘ego’ and ‘fear of commitment’. Sigh. Well, best tried-and-tested solution? Retract a little. Let him saturate in his confusions for a bit. Don’t try to ask him for explanations; just go do your own thing for a while. He’ll realise he misses you soon enough and come crawling back. If he doesn’t, well, he just wasn’t worth the effort.
Ultimately, points 1-5 are merely about feeling confident and loving yourself. This is because love begets love, so the more you have for yourself, the more you have for others and vice versa. If you can really, truly, do that, romance will come knocking at your doorstep. And even if it doesn’t stay for long, at least you’ve got the essence of happiness sussed out!