“If PM is ‘Shikhandi’, then I ‘self-allege’ to be DRAUPADI”- Rahul Gandhi

Posted on Jun 1 2012 - 12:48am by Delusional Repoter

 

After the allegations on PM by one of the senior-most lawyer from the estranged Team Anna who are trying to withstand the withering, it was time for a payback  from the UPA.

The allegation which was basically directed to another gung ho, multimillion dollar ‘coal’ scam, but it eventually ended up with PM being called as ‘Shikhandi’. So there was a wide and wild range of dissent and disappointment across the Congress party.

A source close to the delusional reporter was informed that the Congressmen were upset for being at fault; had they know the secret of PM being Shikandi, they would never have made him one!! I mean..PM… so they wanted to revert to team Anna strongly and, if possible, proscribe them from making such in future and thence making them realize the mistake!!!

So Mother Italy of India, once again found a silver lining and was quick enough to order Rahul Gandhi to ‘analyze’ and ‘handle’  the situation and  at least now, to show his high, clandestine, talented political skill set so that she can at least lure LALU PRASAD to pitch a voice for his name to PM post.

So our beloved churned-out Prince, came up with an interview and surprisingly, called everyone in media, including his sycophants and gave an audacious statement, “ If PM is allegedly Shikhandi, then I am, self-alleging myself to be DRAUPADI”

This took everyone to surprise. Before anyone could ask the rhetorically pre-assigned rhetoric questions, RG, himself sought to reply to all those de facto queries.

Further he, spoke, without trying to tear any paper, “Now you would ask why I chose to be Draupadi and not Arjun, as claimed by few. You see, Draupadi had 5 husbands and each one was well equipped with his own talent. They were so brave and courageous. In short, they were her perfect bodyguards. So even I have my own bodyguards.. please don’t take them as my husbands!!”

He tried to giggle with this little impromptu joke, but all in vain. Continuing his speech in sad tone, “ again, before you ask, I would like to tell, that for me Digvijay Singhji, P Chidambaramji, Kapil Sibbal(my favourite), Pranabji and aaaaa….” . Thought for a couple of seconds and said, “ haan!! I remember, it’s Kumar Ketkar. You see, these people always protect me from anything to everything. Be it some foolish statement in media, my failure in election campaigning, visiting different states, etc.”

Interrupting him, I asked proudly, “ Sir, can you tell us, who’s whom from your mentioned list of Pandavas or you 5 husbands?”

RG got a bit frustrated, but guises it with a smile and replied, “ Look!! Don’t think that I only spend night at Dalit’s house, I am A BRAHMIN and yesterday, I slept at a Brahmin’s house. I tried to read whole Mahabharata in one night but couldn’t do!! So this is all I could come out with. I need some more time, to be perfect with matching. So pardon me !!”

I asked another question….” sir, then how would you put the Vastra Haran(clothes stripping) of Draupadi in your startling political life?”

RG, this time, lost it completely. He stood up in anger and it seemed as if his gonna hit me!!. Instead,he calmly said,” why do you raise this topic again and again?!! You know na, the result of UP ELECTIONS!!! THAT WAS EQUAL TO CHEER AND VASTRA HARAN. I totally lost everything. My faded image, my disgruntled dream “ . wiping his tears….

Pausing for a second, his tone grew sterner, “ look!!”. Pointing his finger to me, “ all my 5 bodyguards were helpless at that time, so now you will ask who was Krishna then. Well, sadly, I didn’t have Krishna with me!! Even he ran away, because I performed so poorly. I should have listened to my bodyguards and not entered into the fray,”

RG became forlorn with this statement and began crying. This triggered all his chamchas: Barkha Dutt, Arnab and Rajdeep to get up from their places and console him. Also, they secretly promised him of not publishing this and denigrate his already denigrated Image. Instead, they unanimously thought to make breaking news from LK ADVANI.

But I, am a delusional reporter!! I follow my own delusional ethics………………

 

About the Author

DON'T TRUST WHAT I WRITE!! IT'S ALL DELUSIONAL ... THE WORLD IS DELUSIONAL... PEOPLE ARE DELUSIONAL.. OK. ENOUGH NOW ;)

  • raj

    Really hilarious article , and something new

    • http://aniruuud.blogspot.in/ Delusional Repoter

      Haha.. Glad you liked it Raj …. :)

  • Gujju By Heart

    I would not be surprised if this turns out to be a real conversation

    • http://aniruuud.blogspot.in/ Delusional Repoter

      well!! It’s a top ‘secret’…you’re right …. Conversation took place in my delusional world :D