The Way to Love

Posted on Jun 17 2012 - 1:26pm by Vardhan Karanjikar

Love till now had been a concept that had eluded me. I could never fully fathom the formation of love or its true meaning. However I feel that love for someone can never quite go away. Even if a tinge of their personality (especially name) is expressed your mind starts dwelling on the times before when you knew them. The clear cut example of this is when you sleep, I believe dreams are instruments or methods that truly show us how connected we are with the things we want or we wished we had. There is no hope left, but dreams tend to acknowledge the fact that you still have not got over someone. You know that they are out of reach and hence you must rid yourself of them truly. I believe this is where dreams are helpful; they don’t show us the future. Dreams have a way of showing things that have eluded us, I got up today morning from a dream that I never thought I could get. I never ever wanted that person to come back in my dreams because she was gone. Yet somehow she came back, and when I got up this morning I once again saw myself wishing her back. I know that can never happen; there is no trying left simply because she is too far away. I need to get her out of my thoughts, and I don’t know how to make that happen but I feel that deep down there is some connection of mine with her which is never going to go away.

Let’s look at love as a universal concept. We live in well defined concepts of love, we live in a “society” that has norms for what one person must do if he/she loves someone else. For example, if I want to ask someone out I first must make myself presentable, I must get noticed by the opposite gender. I cannot do that if I am a rag tag man that has nothing to do. I must do something; I must work and make myself financially stable. After all this rush, I have to again make myself wear clothes that are noticeable. I must be able to afford a certain set of clothes for the woman I want to impress. Soon I realize that my hobbies, my work, my restaurants, my food and even my damn underwear have become focused on impressing someone. My entire world has started to revolve on a universal concept known as “impressing.” But wait! I had set out to find love, what happened to that in the process? Did I lose it? No, I didn’t. I just accepted that love is no longer a fundamental concept and it must be a set of steps that everyone has to follow in order to attain some blasphemy known as love. Love never existed; it was never true it was just a hoax to make me socially acceptable. Its stings right? Love was a wonderful thing, a beautiful concept, but where is it? Why did I not find it? It was because I lost the meaning of love when I started loving society. Most people might argue that they like to dress up for themselves, they like to wear expensive clothing and they like to wear perfumes derived from some scented flowers because they feel good. In short, they dress up and parade the society’s image of love or better known as impressing because they like to.

These people then find someone who likes them for the things they have done, things that society wanted them to do all along. They are too proud of themselves to accept the fact that society changed them to wear better, smell better, and even look better.

Still it all comes down to love. Where is it? Is love a concept that is age defined? Or is love something that we have not grasped? Why do people who claim they are truly in love suddenly act as sworn enemies?  Why must we find love in the first place? Why can’t we live without love?

This is love. Love is a confused concept; love is something that can be found only if you are willing to walk alone on the way to love.

About the Author

A Zoologist by day, a writer by night, dawn and dusk.

  • chanakya

    I find it interesting, the relation between male birds who strut themselves in order to appeal to the opposite sex. I think it is deeply rooted in our DNA to be automatically search a partner in order to continue to survive. The concept of love is just an expression of our instincts which manifests into what we call love because of an ever growing complexity of social and personal relationships in the current society.