Top 15 trends of 2011!

1.     Doomsday 2012.

To begin on a note of pathos (you see, we take it as low as possible, so towards the end you feel it’s a rising crescendo no matter how bad we are), the year 2011 was filled with prophecies n prophesies of how the “world as we know it” shall end in 2012.

Read between the lines dear reader, it’s probably a Greek MP who first started this trend with the innocent intention of giving hope to the Greeks so that they can once again start planning more children, without worrying about which adoption centre to give them up to.

2.     Luxury Cars.

Clearly something the Greeks should not be thinking of right now.

Aston Martin made its foray into the Indian market,Shreyans Motors announced their association with Ferrari. So what’s the downside to this?

Sure, these machines are mean machines. It’s just that our roads are positively evil.

3.     International Education.

There wasn’t a single newspaper that didn’t feature an article or ad pertaining to this. We’re all for broadening horizons, spreading wings etcetc. Just don’t forget, we Desis put the ‘cool’ in gurucool!

4.     Fitness.

Suddenly took over from the trend of the previous decade- obesity.

Show’s‘em all how fit always beats fat in the end!

It’s just that all these good-looking people in fitness videos are actually making us even bigger couch potatoes. Why get outdoors when the indoor can be so full of natural beauty, we ask?

5.     Reality Shows.

Fortunately the worst of them weren’t allowed to air at earthly hours.

And the best of them…. Didn’t have much reality anyway.

In reality this was the year of the failure of reality shows. One hopes ardently we shall be spared the agony in 2012, but in case we aren’t, we’ve already got our fingers on one probable cause of the apocalypse that threatens to befall mankind.

6.     Profanities as a Medium of Public Expression.

Makes the purist and culture geek in us want to scream “$%&# off!” at this trend, but we check ourselves. If we are party to this, there will be one less “societal degeneration” for us to whine about, no?

7.     Madhuri Dixit.

She’s back. As, evidently, is her PR rep.

No, we have nothing bad to say about this one (yet), we’re a generation that hasn’t seen a Madhuri film! (Or been in a ‘channekakhet,’ for that matter)

8.     Anna Hazare.

Warmed the cockles of our hearts because he was one of the few people in our Environmental Education textbooks whose name we remembered 3 years (and few hundred other examinations) later.

Taught us about the Lokpal Bill. And managed an hitherto believed to be unattainable feat- kept dear RakhiSawant out of the public eye for nearly six months!

And we’re loving the rally slogans also. “Dhinkachikadhinkachika Anna Anna!”
Groovy!

9.     Android.

Google won our hearts, eyes, fingers and ears with this one! It proved to be as yummy as the names of the versions. (Gingerbread, ice cream sandwich!)

Next time you’re on varsity campus and overhear kids going,

-”Hey I got 2.4!”

-”How slow are you bro? I feel bad for you! I got 3.8!”

Don’t be fooled dear reader,
it isn’t their GPA that’s the epicenter of this conversation, it’s the version of Android OS on their smart phones!
(Phew. Glad something still sounds smart here!)

PS- For the sanity of the uninitiated, we generally do not encourage eavesdropping in colleges anymore.

10. The Protestor.
Time Magazine Person of the Year.
Yes, we’re a great mag too, but we’ll need a while before we can upstage ‘em old bigwigs of the biz.
Plus, though it rankles the very chains that run the reels of our press, we must admit, they’ve got it bang on!

11. Fuel Prices.
Their meteoric rise put our Agni missiles to shame.
And let’s not mention agni here, fire uses up way more fuel than we can afford.
Say goodbye to kerosene stoves and barbeques, we suggest you invest in a good bunch of magnifying glasses- practice focusing sunrays onto your kebabs.
Though of course, all this becomes a little irrelevant if the world ends in 2012, don’t you think?

12. BetiBacchan.
Created more drama than any other member of her illustrious acting family has ever managed to in all these years!
But whew, finally she popped out!
And now the goss glossies shall move onto bigger topics. Literally.

My wager is on the next three months being dedicated solely to Ash Ma and her pregnancy weight (and possibly its loss too).
If she steps out of her home, that is.

13. Kolaveri Di.
The first thing I said to my mother before I started my car for the first time and was practising gears…
“Super mama ready? Ready? 1 2 3 4!”
Wish Dhanush had counted up to 5, today I’d have been able to drive in fifth gear also!
I loveddddd this song.
Here’s my version of this song….
“Read-u read-u mag-u mag-u
Mag-u is online
Piece-u piece-u good-u good-u
It isn’t just our print that’s fine!”

That was actually my attempt at viral marketing.
Thank Ogilvy, God of Marketing, (sorry Mr A Chaudhari, maybe next time!) that Scribido owners’ pockets run deep enough to get professional help!

14. China.
Considering they made it to a trend list devoted to India, I suppose their omnipresence is there for all to see. Inflation, undervalued currency, communism, border disputes, people’s rights (or lack thereof) etc., we’ve heard it all.
Over our cell phones, computers and televisions.
Which, (surprise, surprise!) were all made in china too!

15. The Youth.
To end the list on a high note; the youth, through various mass movements and public and social networking platforms, spoke.
And what a deafening roar of hope it was.
It promises to reverberate for the years to come, heralding the arrival of aware, proactive, inspired, motivated, capable, concerned and phenomenally talented agents of change, yearning to devote themselves to the betterment of society with a sense of integrity that promises to be unassailable.