Once upon a time there was a little girl who waited for the night to come. For then her mother would come and tuck her in. She would sit by her in the old rocking chair and read out her favourite stories. Dragons were fought, witches were outfoxed as the charming prince saved the beauty he loved. She dreamt that she was that beauty. And as time passed, her prince finally began to visit her dreams…
That girl has long since grown up. First love? Check. First heartbreak? Check. Huge realization? Check. That huge realization is that when push comes to shove the one coming to her rescue isn’t Tom, Dick or Harry. It’s she, herself. That’s right. She had to save her own back time and again. She killed her own demons all on her own.
We’d all love somebody to be there for us, to stick their neck out for us. The truth is it just doesn’t happen that way. The games, the complications, the emotions… sometimes, it’s like love is the thing you need saving from. But love is the sweetest mistake -it’s something I would love to try again and again.
I do want to fall in love again, once I find a worthy guy. The problem is it is so bloody hard to do. It doesn’t help that the best princes are either taken or gay. I take myself to highly populated areas like the local trains in the hope of finding Mr. Right. (:P) The more the people, the more the probability of finding him, right? Wrong. For what ended up happening, read Exhibit A. What about dance floors, bars, classes, the work place, the market, the promenade, the streets for crying out loud! The one time when I especially went to such places on a mission to find cute looking guys, I ended the night, disappointed. So, apparently, he isn’t at any of those places either. Where do I go to find him? I didn’t know then and I honestly don’t know now. It’s making me empathize with Rihanna’s ‘Where Have You Been?’ (I hear you woman!)
And now, when I do find out where he is, I am going to use the lessons I’ve learnt so far. I’m not going to give all my affections to him. Humans are way too fickle for that to be wise. I kind of think of it like this. I have ten coins of affection, I’m going to give eight coins to eight people and maybe two coins to the guy I like. That way if it doesn’t work out, I can get back on my feet with the returns I get from my other investments. My heart doesn’t become bankrupt.
And if falling in love is the main course, I’ve decided I am going to enjoy the starters. Be it friends, my umpteen dreams, time with my darling parents, each and every single day, I am going to extract all the fun I can out of life with a lemon squeezer on steroids. Ironically, though expected, now that I’ve started devoting all my time to me, guys are starting to fall for me. It’s insane, because now that guys like me I find that I don’t have any time left for a guy.
Guys do get attracted to confidence. They love a female who knows her own mind. All this time I have been pining in a corner for Prince Charming, What I should have done is just shoved my opinions down a few throats. Voila! Instant love at first jibe! The problem is when you get a taste for life on your own terms; you don’t want to bend for anyone else’s.
Not even for your own fairytale.